|A small selection of the mind boggling array of awareness ribbons|
Your favourite on line news source, The super soar away Satire, today launches it's very own self righteous awareness campaign.
Forever socially conscious, The Satire has waded in to the justice war with a blistering attack on the complete lack of awareness in today's selfish me me me society. Clearly the legacy of the Evil Mrs. Thatcher who has been pan breed for almost two years, out of office for twenty five and completely irrelevant for fifteen.
"The total absence of any sense of awareness in our modern Britain is the biggest cause of all our misery."
Claimed Satire Editor in Chief, shameless bandwagon jumper and self publicist Tom Laird.
"Consider the tragic case of regular Satire rent-a-quote Maureen MacGlinchy(21)of Parkhead, who recently stuck her hand in a toaster and switched it on, apparently un "aware" that it would result in third degree burns to her fingers. The subsequent lawsuit against Scotia Appliances resulted in a massive payout, that caused the fledgling firm to dissolve into bankruptcy with the loss of 150 jobs.
Or that of Mrs. Ina MacHag(75) of Stockbridge who regularly blethers shite to the exasperated teller in the local Post Office blissfully un "aware" that a massive queue is forming out the door and up the main street.
Then there's the pitiful example of Trinny FForbes-Fuckwit(30) of Comely Bank who leaves her Golden Retriever, Poppy, tied to a bin outside Waitrose to bark incessantly while she dithers around inside over the pilau rice or couscous dilemma.
Ultimately there was the tragic case of Mr William Beveridge (Deceased) who recommended a welfare system, naively un "aware" that it would result in an entire sub class of bone idle arseholes with dubious dress sense but a massive sense of entitlement.This has to stop."
The new awareness campaign will consist of wearing no ribbon or rubber bangle whatsoever. Forcing the smug, self righteous and fashion conscious to question ones moral standing. Thus enabling one to retort in an equally smug, self righteous and condescending manner about the new campaign. As an added bonus, due to running out of ribbon and bangle colours and combos, the "Awareness" awareness campaign will share it's platform with Flatulence Concern, Patently Obvious and Expected Adult Death Syndrome, Hemorrhoids Aid and Sexually Frustrated Teenage Laddie Relief.
The aforementioned Ms. MacGlinchy opined...
"Am a bit disappointed wi the new campaign. I like ribbons an bangles. Av goat hunners so a huv. A don't really know what they are a' fur but they go wi ma shoes an handbags."
Ms. MacGlinchy is pregnant again.